Tribulations in Catalonia: a wedding and several funerals

24.12.2017 - Barcelona, Catalonia - Sasha Volkoff

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Tribulations in Catalonia: a wedding and several funerals

Diary of a poor mortal in Catalonia.

Saturday, December 23, 2017. Once again we have returned to vote. How good democracy feels! Now all that is missing is that there are no politicians imprisoned or charged for being in favour of the right to decide, that the president elected by the Parliament can exercise as such, and that the Constitutional Court stops annulling the laws voted by the Catalan elected representatives. Since we are already asking to the Three Wise Men, please let us decide if we like to have a king with blue blood. But it seems that the Spanish State does not think that so many liberties are good. “Catalan children! You can choose how you want to live, as long as the rest of Spaniards agree. And if you behave well and are good little Spaniards, we will let you sing Christmas songs in your weird dialect, that you insist on continuing to teach in schools.”

A few days ago I had a nightmare which has come true, but only in part: Inés Arrimadas, from Citizens Party, has been the most voted candidate in the elections to the Parliament of Catalonia. But it was not fulfilled, since she will not be able to form a government (mh!). Nor will she be able to elect García Albiol as a counsellor (double! Mh!). We must recognise that Ciudadanos has made a great electoral campaign, with a simple slogan like “to end the procés” and an elaborate government programme that says that if they govern they will … well … mhhhhhhh … In fact they have taken great care not to say what they would do if they governed, because surely that would take away votes. The tactic of the repetition slogan has worked for them, dragging the majority of former PP voters and the voters of the traditional fascist parties. In addition, Arrimadas has taken a master’s degree in not letting her opponent speak (something that Albert Rivera also practices frequently).

On the other hand, the pro-independence parties will be able to form a government, if JxC agrees (Junts per Catalunya, “the list of the president”, as they like to say), ERC (Esquerra Republicana de Catalunya) and the CUP (Popular Unity Candidacy) ). They have it easy, they just have to agree to do what they did a couple of months ago, so that the Spanish government reapplies article 155, and so on following the day of the marmot until we are all a couple of meters underground. In addition, they have to agree to re-elect Puigdemont as president, a relatively easy task if it were not for the fact that the guy is exiled in Belgium, with the threat that if he steps on Spanish soil he goes straight to jail until he loses all his hair, and given his abundance in hair it looks like this will take a long time. Alternatively, they can choose Junqueras, the former vice president, if it were not for the fact that he is following a forced diet in Estremera prison, waiting for someone to prove that once, when he was 5 years old, he removed a candy from a school mate, which would prove his unequivocal tendency to violence and armed rebellion. While they agree on other alternatives, the ERC have hired a teacher of oratory for Marta Rovira and the rest of the candidates who participated in some electoral debate, and those of JxC are still trying to believe that they are not Pujol‘s party of corruption, nor the party of the cuts of Mas.

Along with the pro-independence parties Albano Dante will be celebrating, engaged throughout the campaign in subtracting votes from his great enemy, Catalonia in Comú Podem. Now he would have to be convinced to devote the same energy to attacking Citizens or the PP, which are supposed to be his true contenders. The attitude of Dante is as if Aznar was dedicated to speak badly of the PP and gave his support to, say, Citizens … What a coincidence! The “Commons”, in turn, who know what else they can do, since it seems that proposing reasonable alternatives will not lead them to the Presidency of the Generalitat. In addition, in his desire not to scare old ladies, Iglesias has become the most “light” politician in the Spanish scene. It seems that, at the moment, the model of “macho macho” (or “she-macho” style Arrimadas, which I do not know why reminds me of Esperanza Aguirre) is winning.

Iceta and the PSC, as usual, neither this or that. The “saladlist” that they presented, mixing a bit of progress with nationalist-Catalan-Spanish-Resurrected conservatives, has not been enough for them to achieve great success, although neither has it plunged them into misery (if it can not be considered misery its current situation, for a party that until very recently was the one who governed and promoted reforms).

Finally (and never better said) the PP, for many the great joy of this election result. I know that it is ugly to laugh at other people’s misfortunes, but they rarely make it so easy for us. In the end it will turn out that Aznar spoke Catalan not with Albion in privacy but with Rivera

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