We continue in this space to reflect on attachments, on the emotional, relational, and behavioral unlearning that is often good and necessary to face.

And among so many topics, there is one that I would like to talk about briefly this time: complaining.

It is important to recognize when we have somehow ‘settled’ into it, when we repeatedly become ‘complainers’ when faced with the same situation or problem.

It is generally much easier to recognize this behavior in others…

What do we feel, what happens to us when others behave like professional “complainers”?

We usually feel annoyed and tired and want to get away from someone behaving like this, but we usually don’t notice when we are behaving like this.

There are always two basic attitudes or responses to be given when faced with a complaint: acceptance or responsibility.

When we are faced with situations in which we CANNOT do anything, it is good to work with ACCEPTANCE of that situation and get out of that hostile and exhausting place of complaint.

However, many times we CAN do something, then we have to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY and do the appropriate thing: maybe there is something I have to say and I don’t say it, something I have to do and I don’t do it, something I have to change and I don’t change it?

In short, leaving the place of complaint is always an invitation to ACCEPT when there is nothing I can do, or to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY when I have to act.

Watch the video Do I usually complain? at:

Lic. Vilma Perren

Clinical Psychologist – Logotherapist
Founder of GARVA (Grupo de Asistencia y Recuperación de Vínculos Adictivos).
She coordinates groups and workshops on relationships.
Author of the book: La sanación viene de dentro (Healing comes from within).